What is this
I'll Be Brutal asks you 5 questions about your life. Real questions. Not a personality quiz. Not "what colour are you." Five questions that force you to be honest with yourself.
Then it tells you the truth. Your life, scored out of 10, with a breakdown so accurate you'll wonder who's been reading your diary.
No sugarcoating. No "you're doing great, sweetie." Just the stuff your friends are too polite to say.
Real results from real people
"You've built a life that looks good from the outside and feels like a waiting room from the inside."
"You're not lazy. You're scared. There's a difference, and it's time you stopped confusing the two."
"You set alarms you snooze and goals you abandon. Your potential called — it's moving on."
"You're doing better than you think in every area except the one that actually matters to you."
How it works
Four options. Life audit for men, life audit for women, a relationships deep-dive, or the one that'll really test you.
Brutal, Savage, or Unhinged. Pick the level of honesty you think you can handle. Most people overestimate.
In your own words. No multiple choice. No hiding behind vague answers. The more honest you are, the harder it hits.
A personalised life score, a one-liner that'll haunt you, and an assessment so specific you'll think someone's been watching you.
Pick your poison
£1.99. Takes 3 minutes. Results hit your inbox within 15 minutes.
Life Audit
Your evenings. Your excuses. Your mates' honest opinion. Five questions that expose whether you're building a life or just killing time.
Life Audit
Your Sundays. Your boundaries. The energy you waste on people who give nothing back. Five questions. No performing.
Relationships
Your arguments. Your red flags. The pattern you keep repeating. Five questions about your love life that your friends are too polite to ask.
The Real Question
Who depends on you. The conversations you're dodging. The gap between who you pretend to be and who you are when nobody's watching.
Choose your level
Brutal
Direct. Sharp. Funny. Like your most honest friend after two drinks.
Savage
Finds the thing you're most insecure about. Turns the knife. Smiles.
Unhinged
Scorched earth. You will screenshot this. You may not recover from it.
Less than a coffee. Hurts more than therapy.
Results delivered to your inbox in 15 minutes.